Angelique S. Chengelis: Sports not always love match

Blog Category: Motorsport,Nascar — Blogged by: admin on July 24, 2008 at 7:32 pm

I was reminded of this phenomenon Friday night in a United States Tennis Association (USTA)-sanctioned mixed doubles match between two racket clubs. Wife X and Husband Y (names changed to protect the innocent, of course) were scheduled to play together.

Before the match I spoke to Husband Y and asked in amazement: “Wow, you can play tennis with your wife?”

Not a problem, Husband Y told me. It should be mentioned that Wife X is rated higher by the USTA than Husband Y, meaning Wife X is considered the better player. Let’s just say that watching the match was a vivid reminder of the 11th Commandment. Shots were missed and blame assigned. There were the occasional snide remarks and exchanged looks that could kill.

A day later, however, they were still husband and wife and life, thankfully, had moved on.

Perhaps familiarity allows for on-court/field/course contempt. This is not a scientific study by any means, but my guess is if you play a sport with someone who is not a blood-relative or with whom you are not in a romantic relationship, you tend to curb the cutting remarks and moments of utter frustration.

While he/she might want to say, “You moron, why didn’t you poach that shot?” the unrelated partner says, “OK, you need to move your feet and anticipate the volley.”

Now, far be it for me to say there aren’t any significant-other pairings that can work in the recreational sports arena. I have seen them, and I even know them, but I have seen more that don’t seem to reek of marital bliss.

Golf is a trying game for an individual, let alone adding a significant other to the dynamic of such a sport. Many years ago, playing with another couple, I quietly watched a slow burn, hole after hole. The husband, who happened to be the better golfer, would kick away his wife’s putts, telling her the putt was good even though the ball was well beyond the leather (and I mean, wellbeyond!)

It was offensive to watch, condescending behavior, no doubt. OK, maybe he just wanted to keep the pace of play moving along, but I could sense what she was thinking, because it was what I was thinking — “Let me try to putt this ball, so I can become a better player … can’t you respect that!?” But she picked up the ball hole after hole after he would kick it to her.

She was quietly seething until … all hell broke loose. She was no longer going to take it, and the husband got an earful. Quietly, I applauded her confrontation, a victory for all of us just trying to play the game the way it’s meant to be played.

This all might explain why a husband-and-wife golf invitational I’m aware of is also referred to as … “the divorce open.”

Now, in no way am I a proponent of husbands and wives and significant others not attempting to play together. Of course not! They live together, raise children together, so most certainly should be able to play competitive recreational sports together.

I am all for it. But let’s get a few rules out on the table for these sports-playing couples.

One : The woman is always right.

Two : If she’s the better player, get over it. She’s better.

Three : Offer advice. Never lecture.

Four : Remember, this is about having fun.

Five : Not sure if I mentioned this one, and this one is critical … the woman is always right.

Danica, Danica, Danica

So I watched the video Monday morning of the altercation between female Indy Racing League drivers Danica Patrick and Milka Duno , and, well, I couldn’t help but think of the “Seinfield” cat fight episode.

In this male-dominated world of sports, could any video have been more delightfully viewed, e-mailed and discussed?

Saucer of milk, table two?

After qualifying Saturday, Patrick walked to Duno’s pit and confronted her. Patrick, who used a variety of expletives, wanted to know if Duno had seen her on the track when she apparently cut her off. To be fair, Duno has not distinguished herself as a driver. Also to be fair, Patrick has not distinguished herself off the track in terms of confrontations with others.

This comment from Patrick in the Indianapolis Star doesn’t make her look any better: “Unfortunately, things involving me tend to evolve,” she said. “I’m on the hot seat when I do something and when others do something (connected to me). It’s kind of the line that I walk because I’m popular.”

Does someone have a diva complex?

The difference this time, though, was that Patrick decided to confront another woman.

She has had issues before with male competitors, like Dan Wheldon and Ryan Briscoe , but as has so often been pointed out, she is in a position of power, because what guy in his right mind would attempt to get into a physical altercation with a 5-foot, 100-pound woman — or any woman, for that matter — especially when television cameras are around?

Duno repeatedly asked Patrick to leave and threw a towel in Patrick’s face.

“She can push the guys because they cannot do anything to her, but she cannot push me,” Duno said later.

Frankly, Patrick continues to make highlight reels for the wrong reasons. Does anyone remember she won a race this year, or is she going to be remembered for her stomping down pit road at Indianapolis in an effort to confront Briscoe and, now, this video with Duno?

She came off in the video as condescending and a prima donna.

Does the IRL like this kind of attention? Probably. Attention is attention, after all. But for those of us trying to find reasons to root for Patrick, this kind of behavior makes it tougher and tougher.

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